Pakula was born in The Bronx, New York, to parents of Polish-Jewish descent, Jeanette (née Goldstein) and Paul Pakula. He was educated at The Hill School in Pottstown, Pennsylvania, and Yale University, where he majored in drama. From October 19, 1963, until 1971, Pakula was married to Actress Hope Lange. He was married to his second wife, Hannah Pakula (formerly Hannah Cohn Boorstin) from 1973 until his death in 1998.